Thursday Thoughts: When God is Quiet

Have you ever felt like you and God were on a break?

I know that’s a bold statement and might make some people stop and say, “Huh?”, but that’s what happened to me when we moved back to Greenville. I was very strong in my faith in Louisiana, and I had a very close relationship with God. I was involved in a church, I had excellent, Godly friends and coworkers that were speaking life into me everyday. I even turned our extra bedroom closet into a prayer closet where I kept prayers taped to the wall and where I spent nearly an hour every morning with Jesus.

Then we moved.

I kept my daily quiet times going. I even kept my early wake up time so that I’d keep doing the full hour before work. The first year was okay, and I kept that up, but as time went on I really started to notice a change…a distance. My quiet times grew shorter, I was falling asleep during that time, and I wasn’t necessarily absorbing anything from my devotions. Even my prayers were generalized and very surface level. But like I said, I just felt a distance from God.

I knew that God was still with me. As a Christian, I know that God is always with me and that I am secure in my salvation. I just felt like there was something off in my relationship with Him.

Then I got another job that was very difficult in the beginning, and I felt like God and I were growing even further apart. This feeling continued on into that first year and into the next one, too. I was still doing my daily quiet times, but I wasn’t doing them for as long. I wasn’t feeling quite the connection I had once felt.

This summer was maybe the worst. I would go days without a quiet time or without even thanking God for giving me another day. I have always felt conviction from God. And I was feeling it this summer. I know now that He was trying to woo me back to Him.

Here’s a quick back story that I need to tell you before I get to the end of this post. I have been a fan of Beth Moore for a long time. I enjoy her teaching style and often use some of her tactics in my own teaching of third graders. I get some funny looks when I get going like she does, but I know they’re paying attention when I do it. 🙂 To start with I was searching for Beth Moore sermons on YouTube and watching those when I was getting ready each morning, but she soon came out with a Wednesday night TV show on TBN that I started recording. I did this in Louisiana when we lived there and set it up to record here once we moved to Alabama. I had neglected watching them but never deleted them from my DVR.

Okay, flash forward to August of this year when I feel a nudge to watch an episode one morning. I don’t even remember what she was talking about, but I knew that I had tears in my eyes and was remembering what it was like to be pursued by God. He was calling out to me, and I was ready to listen. I kept watching day after day, sometimes coming home after school needing just a little bit more encouragement after a rough day. In one episode, Beth suggested reading the gospels to learn about Jesus. So, I decided to incorporate that into my daily quiet time, too. I am only through Matthew, but already I’m learning so much. So much that I didn’t know. So many little hidden things that are teaching me about the way I should treat people or think. So many good things. And in the process, I feel like our relationship is mending.

The point of this post is to encourage you to not give up on God. I don’t know if you’ve been through something similar to my situation, but I know, I KNOW, I’m not the only one that has felt this way. I knew He was never completely gone away from me, but I knew that our relationship had shifted and He was quieter than normal. I don’t know what He’s got in store for me this time, but I know that He’s after me for a reason. I plan to follow those nudges I get (this post being one of them) and hopefully provide encouragement and a safe space for you to share your thoughts on your relationship with Him, too.

So from one imperfect person to another, don’t give up. How does that old saying go? “If you’re going through hell, keep going.” God’s right there, and even if He’s being quiet, He’s still there. Listen for those little nudges and act on it. Happy Thursday, friends!