How I Single-Handedly Won the Iron Bowl

I’ve never been a big believer in superstition. Sure, I’ll knock on wood or throw salt over my shoulder, but when it come to sports, I know it’s completely out of my hands. Until last night.

We started watching the Iron Bowl like any other game- snacks on the table, cold beverage in hand, and a whole bunch of Normans gathered around the TV at my in-laws’ house. I brought a simple La Croix with me to begin the game. Nothing fancy, well, fancy carbonated water but nothing out of the ordinary. Once it was empty I reached for a White Claw my husband’s cousin, Cody, left in a cooler on the back porch.

Now, everyone knows that drinking means bathroom visits. And that’s exactly what happened to me. Except when I went to the bathroom I heard cheers from the den. Auburn had scored.

Out I came back to the sofa but things weren’t go our way. A little while later nature called again, so I headed back to the bathroom. More cheering. I’m just thinking it’s a coincidence. There’s no such thing as game-time superstitions. Especially when it comes to simply watching the game from home on TV.

Well, this happened multiple times during the first half. Every time I went back to the bathroom something good would happen for Auburn. We all took notice of the timing but didn’t read too much into it.

After halftime was over and the game had resumed, I was another White Claw in and had to use the bathroom yet again. Guess what? Another positive Auburn play.

I’m starting to rethink this whole superstition thing at this point and wondering if I should just stay in this bathroom for the duration of the game. Then I think how extremely boring and ridiculous that would be, so I head back out to join the family. But every time I headed to use the restroom I would hear cheering and a loud, “Where’s Elizabeth?” Followed by my husband yelling, “Do not come out of there!”

Right before the pick six (the second one, I believe), I had come out of the bathroom and asked my husband if it was safe to return to the den. He shot back with a very frustrated face as Auburn had done something he wasn’t happy about. So I slowly backed myself down the hall, planted my feet in the bathroom, and stuck my head out to see the TV. Instead I heard instant yelling and saw my father-in-law stand up to block my view. All I could see was a small corner of the screen with two Auburn feet running for a touchdown. At this point I’m a believer. I am legit winning this game for Auburn!

The White Claws kept flowing and the bathroom breaks and, consequently, the positive points and gains came for Auburn. This continued until the last two minutes of the game.

So to all you Auburn tigers and members of my most beloved Auburn family, I’d like to say what a privilege it was to help you to this victory. Had it not been for Cody and his neglected White Claws we might not have won the game. You’re welcome.

War Dame Eagle!