THURSDAY THOUGHTS: THIS IS ME

I’ve been thinking a lot about where I live. More specifically what I live in.

It hit me today that we’ve been living in our apartment for almost a year and a half. It’s not necessarily where I thought I’d be at this point in my life, but if I’m being honest, I have no idea where I thought I’d actually be. I suppose if you’d have asked me three years ago where I thought I’d be, I would have probably said in our house in Louisiana. We had no intention to move back or any reason to really. But when we got word that it was looking like we both had jobs and a place to live here, well, how could we not at least consider it?

Fast forward to now. We’ve moved to our hometown, we’re still in the apartment we moved into, and we have no real prospects as far as a house goes. Yes, my grandparents’ house is still available, but it just doesn’t feel right. I’ve always felt something when we were looking for a place to live. I just kind of know when it’s the right one, and I feel like someone else is meant to have that house.

That being said. I don’t feel like our time in this apartment is over. I suppose tomorrow someone could show me a house I know we’re meant to have, but today, right now, I don’t think we’re supposed to go anywhere just yet. This little place was meant for us during this season of life, and I’m kind of happy about that. 

I wrote a blog post that hasn’t been published yet about my plans to give our guest bathroom a facelift. I started it off talking about living here in Greenville and in this apartment, and when Paul read it he said that it sounded like I was miserable. Like living in the apartment was something I didn’t like. The truth is, it couldn’t be farther from the truth. I actually really like living here. Sure I’d like to have more space, more square footage, really like a pantry, but I don’t need it. The beauty of this apartment is that it’s the home we moved into when we decided to start this chapter of our lives. We came back home. We might not stay here forever. We might not stay here another year. We have no idea what the future holds for us, but the thing I do know and am learning to accept each day is that I have to be authentically me. And if that means living here in a small apartment that I’ve grown to love, why would I do anything but that?

If you’ll allow me to get a little deep here…doesn’t that always happen in Thursday Thoughts posts? Sorry. Well, actually I’m not sorry. And here’s why…I’ve been reading and seeing and hearing a lot of things lately that keep telling me to be me. Be who I am and not who everyone else thinks I should be. And be proud of it. I am finding that to be one of the most difficult things about growing up (I’m a people pleaser.) and one of the most liberating. 

I have a family member, well probably a few, that think we need to get out of Greenville. We need to get out of this apartment and move on to a place with more opportunity. So, I bought into that idea initially. For as long as I can remember, I’ve always said I’d never come back to Greenville. I’d never live here again, never raise my kids here. There’s a great big world out there and I haven’t seen enough of it. I need to leave the small town life, move to the big city and not come back.

Never say never. Because here I am. I’ve moved back to the very town I said I’d never come back to. I’m not currently raising any children, but I hope to be one day soon.  And it’s looking like I’ll be raising them right here-maybe even in this very apartment. I’ve seen a bit of the world. Louisiana was a whole different world than Greenville, Alabama. It may not have been a big city, but I can get my way around the popular parts of New Orleans, and that’s a pretty decent sized city in my opinion. 

My point is that living here in this town and in this apartment is exactly where I want to be right now. And technically I live “in the city”. I live downtown…in a loft apartment. Sounds pretty “city” to me. I can walk to the post office. I can walk to stores to shop. Heck, I’ve done both of those things. I like living here. Sure, there are certain careers that wouldn’t do well here. I can’t shop at certain stores because they aren’t here. I can’t eat at certain restaurants because we don’t have them. But does that really matter when I’m trying to be authentically me? When I know that my husband is happy and wants to be here? When I know that being close to our parents is one of the greatest things because we’ve been away from them for so long? Call me crazy, but what’s so wrong with any of that? 

In an effort to just be me and be proud of it, I’m embracing this apartment like never before. I am looking at it with new eyes and fresh ideas, and lucky for me (and you) it should make for some good blog content. Starting with that bathroom makeover. Look for that post in the next few days. I’m just so thankful to be in a place that is unique and fun and in a town that is spectacular and historic and special. Here’s a peek at the before of the bathroom.

The song below is what has triggered this thinking. I’ve yet to see this movie, but I cannot get enough of the music. The first time I heard any of the music was from this particular video, and I was in tears. I’m not a greatly oppressed person. I know people are way worse off than I am, but we all have our struggles and our issues, and this song was like a wake up call saying, “Get over the things that make you feel like you’re less than or weird. You are who you are. Change the things you can make better. And accept the things that you cant. God will take care of those. Be yourself and be proud of it.” So that’s what I’d like to do. And that’s what I hope you do too. Life’s too short to be anyone but you. Live where you want to live and be who you want to be. Don’t let anyone bring you down or tell you otherwise.

As if the video wasn’t enough, I’ll leave you with one last thing. Perhaps my favorite quote of all time. “The things that make you strange are the things that make you powerful.”- Ben Platt.

You do you, boo. 🙂